When parents choose SelfDesign Learning Community, SelfDesign Home Learning, or other paths for raising and educating their children, they may find that their families may question or resist that decision.
Lisa, a SelfDesign parent, shares her story of how her family, her husband and her husband’s family all opposed her daughters embarking with SelfDesign. With time, as the kids flourished on their new learning journeys, the resistance faded.
Here is Lisa’s story.
By Lisa, SelfDesign parent
I enrolled my two daughters in SelfDesign Learning Community in 2017, and despite challenges from my family and husband, it has been the right path for my daughters.
My oldest daughter has had major anxiety since preschool, and the regular school system did not work for her. It caused us to fight constantly before and after school every day, because she didn’t want to go to school.
I found SelfDesign just before she started grade 5 and it seemed like the perfect solution for us. It would allow her to work on projects she was interested in and she could immerse herself in topics, without constantly starting and stopping – something that had always triggered her anxiety. After learning more about SelfDesign, I pulled my younger daughter out of regular school, as well, to start grade 3 at home.
Holding my ground
I come from a very conservative family and so does my husband. The underlying code is “do not challenge the system!”
Neither my family nor my husband’s family supported the home schooling idea. They thought I would be unable to guide my daughters in their education because I don’t have a teaching degree. In their minds, learning at home was a totally unacceptable path for our kids. When I pulled my kids out of school, I was called crazy, and the family told me that I would “make the kids stupid,” that “I was not a teacher,” and that “my kids would never get diplomas or good jobs if they were home schooled.”
My husband was not on board either, which really strained our marriage. However, my eldest daughter’s anxiety was already straining our marriage, and I was determined to give her the best life I could, even if it was an unorthodox idea. He finally agreed to try SelfDesign for one year.
That first year was emotionally very rough. I had to walk this path on my own with no support, and it was slightly terrifying.
I spent many sleepless nights during that first year questioning my decision, even though both girls were thriving in this new environment.
Turning point
My husband came around during our second year at SelfDesign, when he saw how our girls were able to focus better and for longer periods of time. He saw them learning new languages and writing novels on their own. They even taught him history he had never learned in school.
He was blown away by their love for learning and how they dove with passion and wonder into whatever they were interested in. He had hated school as a child, he had just assumed that everyone did, and he had assumed that hating school was normal. Now he is as much of an advocate for SelfDesign and home learning as I am.
Our daughters have benefitted 100 percent from SelfDesign’s approach. They are self-confident and self-assured learners who have a mindset of wonder about the world. My oldest daughter’s anxiety is minimal now, and our home life is peaceful and happy. Even both sets of parents now agree that SelfDesign is the perfect path for the girls.
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Families turn to SelfDesign for their children’s education for many reasons, but always with their children’s best interests at heart. However, other family members or friends may not support that decision – at least not at first. Your child’s learning consultant will work with you to clarify the reasons you chose SelfDesign as your child’s learning path in the first place, focussing on what is most important – your child’s own needs.
