Nikki Kenyon’s path to SelfDesign® Learning Community began before her children were old enough to go to school. As a trained BC-certified educator, she was already working with SelfDesign when her first daughter was ready for kindergarten. But even then, she wanted her child to have a choice in how she learned.

“When I told my daughter she didn’t have to go to school, she put her hands on her hips and said, ‘Well, you can’t make me stay home!’” Nikki laughed. “All I wanted was for her to have a choice, and I would support her either way.”

Her daughter Kaya (now 21 and attending university in Hawaii) started out in a traditional school setting, but after a negative experience with math in grade 1, she began to question whether school was the best fit for her. Seeing other families successfully learning at home through SelfDesign, Nikki’s daughter decided to stay home the following year—and with that, Nikki’s home learning journey truly began. Her other three children—Keidis (19), Ophelia (17) and Kellen (15)—followed suit when they were old enough to start school.

Unlike traditional brick-and-mortar schools, in the early grades SelfDesign parents and guardians do most of the heavy lifting in facilitating their child’s learning journey. They plan and oversee relevant (and fun!) activities, schedule time for learning in a way that speaks to the child and create opportunities for peer interaction. Their learning consultants are there to offer guidance and suggestions along the way.

Being a SelfDesign parent is about integrating learning into everyday life

When Kaya decided to learn at home in grade 1, it was because Kaya experienced a serious illness halfway through the school year and she fell behind in math. She struggled upon returning to school, and then started to observe the work Nikki was doing as a learning consultant for SelfDesign.

“She saw me working with home learning families, and asked if she had to do math if she were to stay home for the following school year,” Nikki recounted. “I said no, she didn’t have to do math.”

Little did she know that she was actually going to learn math but in a totally different way than her brick-and-mortar school peers. Being a SelfDesign parent isn’t about recreating school at home. It’s about integrating learning into everyday life. Nikki describes how deciding on dinner and a simple trip to the grocery store became an opportunity to practice math, budgeting and decision-making. Measuring ingredients for cooking or baking became a science and math lesson. Writing a shopping list turned into a literacy exercise. And walking to the store incorporated physical activity.

“Learning is interconnected,” Nikki explains. She would take learning even further by having her children write a review for the online recipe, or send a letter to the cookbook author, or create their own blog post about the meal, or even write a review for the learning consultant to read. They also took some food photos, adding to the creativity of it all.

“The premise of SelfDesign is that learning happens all the time, in real-world contexts,” Nikki explained. “Just because my kids weren’t sitting at a desk filling out worksheets didn’t mean they weren’t learning.”

Unlike traditional schooling, where teachers lead instruction and parents support from a distance, SelfDesign parents take an active role in curating learning experiences. They create structured and unstructured opportunities, follow their child’s interests and, most importantly, stay deeply engaged in their learning journey.

Home learning requires creative problem solving, which may at times include structured learning

As Kaya grew older, she became worried about not learning long division like her friends who go to traditional school. She wanted to “catch up” to them, so Nikki suggested doing a daily 30-minute math session. In three months (instead of four years), Kaya completed grades 1-4 math, including long division.

Later on, Kaya considered going to grade 8 at her local high school. She was nervous, so she took a six-week summer math course for grade 8 and earned an A, without having done formal math since grade 4!

The beauty in creating your own family schedule

A home learning parent structures the day much differently than one who gets their child up and ready for school, and sends them off.

“My interactions with my kid are very different,” explained Nikki. “Waking up in the morning was a much more gentle, slow, connected engagement. I’m careful to schedule those slow moments with my children, not rushing and moving quickly and having to be on a schedule that’s not our own.”

“My own personal approach is that I want to be extremely present at all times. I want to be able to think about all the learning opportunities that are happening, and not let them pass me by.”

Navigating challenges as a SelfDesign parent

“All he wanted was for me to read Harry Potter to him—all the time,” Nikki recalls. “And while I loved reading with him, at some point, I thought, wouldn’t it be amazing if he could read it on his own?”

Despite her background in education, Nikki found herself wondering if she was missing something. “We read all the time, he was engaged with stories, but the pieces just weren’t coming together for him.”

Through conversations with SelfDesign support staff reminded her that around grade 4, most reading development normalizes—but if a child is putting in effort and the connections still aren’t forming, additional support may be needed.

With this insight, Nikki sought out assessments and discovered that her son had a learning disability. They worked with a specialized tutor and used a home program tailored to his needs.

“Within six months, he was reading,” she says. “And within two months after that, he was reading Harry Potter by himself.”

It was a powerful lesson in patience and support. “I had moments where I thought, ‘Maybe I can’t do this. Maybe I’ve been fooling myself.’ But really, I just needed the right support. He just needed the right support.”

Her son went on to graduate from high school—and achieved his goal of doing well in English 12.

Building community and social connections

One of the biggest misconceptions about home learning is that children miss out on socialization. But for Nikki’s family, building a sense of community was always a priority.

However, it didn’t come without challenges. Nikki had to work up the nerve to approach parents of children with whom hers had connected with, in order to set up playdates.

“I had to work at creating those opportunities,” she admits. “We organized field trips, joined community centre classes, and made connections with other home-learning families.”

Nikki’s children participated in activities like art classes, and weekly meetups at the local pool. Even her youngest son, who later chose to attend high school for the social aspect, found friendships through sports and community programs.

Advice for parents considering SelfDesign

If you’re a home learning parent or trying to decide whether it’s right for you, Nikki has one key piece of advice: Don’t be too hard on yourself.

“You’ll try a million things, and some will work, and some won’t. And that’s okay,” she says. “Flexibility is key. Make agreements with your kids rather than rigid rules. Focus on creating a compassionate and engaging learning environment, and trust that learning is always happening.”

Most importantly, she emphasizes that while home learning is a big commitment, it’s also an incredibly fulfilling journey—one that allows parents to be deeply present in their child’s education and personal growth.

A rewarding experience

As Nikki reflects on her years as a SelfDesign parent, she sees the experience as one of deep connection, meaningful learning and shared discovery. Her children have grown into independent thinkers, confident in their ability to pursue knowledge in their own way.

For families considering SelfDesign, Nikki’s story is a testament to the power of choice. The journey requires commitment and adaptability, but the rewards—a flexible, enriching and deeply personalized learning journey—are well worth it.

Are you ready to explore what it means to be a SelfDesign parent? Learn more here.